|
~~The crawfish mounds in your front yard have overtaken the grass.
~~You greet people with "Ha's ya momma'an'dem?"
and hear back "Dey fine!"
~~Every so often, you have waterfront property.
~~When giving directions
you use words like "uptown", "downtown", "backatown", "riverside", "lakeside",
"northshore", "westbank", "down the bayou", "up the bayou" or "across the river".
~~When you refer to a geographical location "way up North", you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little
Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold"!
~~Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.
~~You've ever had Community Coffee.
~~You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it (also, Thibodaux, Opelousas,
Pontchartrain, Ouachita, Atchafalaya,).
~~You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top
of your house.
~~You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.
~~The waitress at your local sandwich shop
tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.
~~You know the definition of
"dressed".
~~You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barqs and several
Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.
~~The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than HBO.
~~You
"wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.
~~You're not afraid when
someone wants to "ax you something".
~~You go by "ya-mom-en-'dems" on Good Friday for family supper.
~~You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.
~~You don't realize until high school
what a "county" is.
~~You believe that purple, green and gold look good together (and you will even eat things
those colors).
~~You go to buy a new winter coat (what most people refer to as windbreakers)
~~Your last name
isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.
~~You know what a nutria rat is, but you still pick it to represent your baseball
team. (Geaux Zephyrs)
~~You have a ditch on at least one side of your property.
~~You have spent a summer afternoon
on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.
~~You describe a color as "K&B Purple".
~~You
like your rice and politics dirty.
~~When given the choice for Governor between a KKK leader and Edwin Edwards, it's
a difficult decision.
~~You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods.
~~You pronounce
the largest city in the state as "Newawlins".
~~A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder
if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French Fries that fell under the seat.
~~You know those
big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.
~~You prefer skiing on the bayou.
~~You assume
everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.
~~You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana.
~~You
offer somebody a "coke" and then ask them what kind: Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, 7Up?
~~You can name all
of your 3rd cousins.
~~You plan your wedding around hunting season & LSU football.
~~You can list all the
ingredients of a gumbo or a jambalaya.
~~You go to the "boat", but you don't plan on spending any time over
water.
~~When you're in Baton Rouge you know the difference between the old bridge & the new bridge.
~~If
you ever had to wait for the bridge to "come down" so you can get home.
~~If you pull for the Saints.
~~If you've ever been to a wedding and someone either danced in a #3 washtub or with a broom and this was considered normal.
~~You "make your groceries" or "save your dishes".
~~You've ever worn shorts at Christmas time.
~~You pronounce Lafayette as "Laffy-ette" not "La-fay-ette".
~~You learned to drive a boat
before you could drive a car.
~~If you go to a store with your girlfriends to buy something, they will ask you if you
want to "get down"--meaning "Are you getting out and coming in the store with me?"
~~You know the
meaning of a "Cajun Reeboks"(that would be a pair of all white fishing boots).
~~You can't think of anybody
that can cook better than your momma.
~~You know an old person that can "treat" you for warts.
~~The
four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab and King Cake.
You Might be Cajun If....
~Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.
~You won't eat a lobster because you think it's
a crawfish on steroids.
~You take a bite of 5-alarm Texas chili and reach for some Tabasco.
~You pass up a chance
to meet the president to go to the Crawfish Festival in Breaux Bridge.
~Your children's favorite bedtime story begins
with, "First you make a roux..."
~You're asked in school to name the four seasons and you
reply, "Onyons,
celery, bell peppers, and garlic."
~You think the "Fab Four" are "Paul Prudhomme, John Folse, Justin
Wilson, and A.J. Smith".
~You let your black coffee cool and find it has jelled.
~You describe a complete breakfast
as some deer sausage, grits and a yard of boudin.
~None of your favorite vacation spots are north of Abbeville.
~You
sit down to eat boiled crawfish and someone says, "Don't eat the dead ones" and you know what they mean.
~You
refer to Louisiana winters as "gumbo weather"
~You gave up Tabasco for Lent.
~You learned bourre' the hard
way, holding yourself upright in the crib.
~You don't know the real names of your close friends - only their nicknames.
~You can look at a rice field and can tell how much gravy it'll take for that much rice.
~Your high school's rendition
of the national anthem begins with, "Jambalaya, crawfish pie, filet gumbo..."
~You stand up when they play "Jolie
Blon."
~You consider Breaux Bridge the state capitol.
~You think the Mason-Dixon line is at Bunkie.
THE CAJUN TEN COMMANDMENTS (unaltered original version found in Deut 5:6-12):
1. Jus be one God in dat Heaven!
2. Don't be having no idols.
3. Don't be cussin' at nobody.
4. Brought yo-self
to church when dey open da doors.
5. Listen to you maw-maw an' paw-paw.
6. Don't be kilt nobody.
7. Ma ! chere,
don't sleep wit yo brother's wife.
8. Don't go took nothin' from nobody.
9. Always told da whole troot.
10.
Don't go wish fo yo' neighbor's pirogue or tings.
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged that they had for the past five years covertly funded a project
with US auto makers whereby the auto makers installed black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine,
in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in
43 of the 50 states that the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, SHIT!"
Only
the states of Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri,
Arkansas, Alabama, Texas and Tennessee were different, where over 89.3
percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this."
You know you are a native of North Louisiana if...
~You grow your sideburns longer and fuller because it looks soooo good on your sister.
~You have to recrank your car at
every intersection.
~Someone asks to see your marriage license and you have to dig through the back floorboard of the
GTO.
~You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
~Your bicycle has a gun rack.
~You don't think
baseball players spit and scratch too much.
~You buy a color-coordinated rope to tie down your car hood.
~You didn't
put the pink plastic flamingoes in your front yard as a joke.
~You have a tattoo that says "Mother" and it's
spelled wrong.
~The highlight of your family reunion was your sister's nude dancing debut.
~You've ever done your
Christmas shopping at a truck stop.
~You think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
~You had
a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding pictures were taken.
~You've ever had to haul a can of paint to the top of
a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
~Your mother genuinely admires your girlfriend's tattoos.
~You've ever
been blacklisted from a bowling alley.
~It's impossible to see food stains on the fabric of your work uniform.
~Your
junior-senior prom had a day-care center.
~You have Pabst Blue Ribbon on tap in your bathroom.
~You own a denim leisure
suit.
~You've ever had to turn your pick-up truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.
~You think God
looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr.
|
