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WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol
is a major factor in dancing like a wanker.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring
story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause
you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the hell happened to your trousers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you have
mystical Kung Fu powers.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something
really scary (whose name and/ or species you can't remember)
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large)
gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
17 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about
low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
5. It encourages carpooling.
6. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because
people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste
better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot
more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone
more open with his or her ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15.
Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
16. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
17. Sitting "Bare
ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross.
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