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1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
3. Don't make
us guess.
4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
5.
Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
8. Dogs are better
than cats.
9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
10. Shopping
is not everybody's idea of a good time.
11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
12. You have enough clothes.
13. You have too many shoes.
14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
15. Your brother is an idiot.
16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
17. No, he
doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
18. Share the bathroom
19.
Share the closet.
20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
21. A headache that lasts for 17 months
is a problem. See a doctor.
22. Nothing says 'I love you' like sex in the morning.
23. Foreign films are
best left to foreigners.
24. Check your oil.
25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in
an argument.
26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
27. If you think you're
fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
28. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank
range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
29. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
30. Don't fake
it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
31. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you
are?
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
34. You can either ask us to do something
OR tell us how you want it done-not both.
35. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to
complain about having their boobs stared at.
36. Don't make 50 rules when 36 will do.
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